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Featured August 25, 2010
Doctor Visit
By: destinee Aug 20 2010 at 05:38am
Add To FavoritesA man goes to visit his doctor and is complaining of penile erection dysfunction. His doctor tells him of a new surgical breakthrough where they transplant some muscle tissue from an elephant's trunk to the base of a man's penis. The guy agrees to the surgery as he has tried everything else to solve his problem.
A few months later, and after he is all healed from the operation, he is having dinner with a beautiful woman. His Mr. Happy begins to get excited, so much so, that he had to undo his fly to relieve the pressure. The next thing you know, his penis shows up on top of the dinner table and grabs a dinner roll and retrieves it to his pants.
His date is quite shocked at the sight of this, but at the same time curious. She asks him if he can do that again. To which he replies, "I'm pretty sure I can do that again, but I'm not too sure if my ass can handle another dinner roll right now!"
A few months later, and after he is all healed from the operation, he is having dinner with a beautiful woman. His Mr. Happy begins to get excited, so much so, that he had to undo his fly to relieve the pressure. The next thing you know, his penis shows up on top of the dinner table and grabs a dinner roll and retrieves it to his pants.
His date is quite shocked at the sight of this, but at the same time curious. She asks him if he can do that again. To which he replies, "I'm pretty sure I can do that again, but I'm not too sure if my ass can handle another dinner roll right now!"
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Featured August 24, 2010
Erect For Weeks
By: tittyman09 Aug 20 2010 at 05:36am
A guy goes to the doctor. He says to the doctor, "Doc, you got to help me, I've had this erection for weeks. It hurts so bad, I can't put up with it anymore. So, can you help me?"
The doctor says, "I can help you."
So he licks his two fingers and smacks the guy's dick. Then a bug flew off and his dick went back to normal.
Then the guy said, "Doc, I feel great now! How much do I owe you?"
The doctor says, "Find me that bug and you don't owe me a thing."
The doctor says, "I can help you."
So he licks his two fingers and smacks the guy's dick. Then a bug flew off and his dick went back to normal.
Then the guy said, "Doc, I feel great now! How much do I owe you?"
The doctor says, "Find me that bug and you don't owe me a thing."
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Featured August 23, 2010
Wine Tasting Pro
By: drkatz Aug 19 2010 at 07:10am
A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine.
At the first taste she says; "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed.
At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed.
Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!"
And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"
At the first taste she says; "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed.
At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed.
Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!"
And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"
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Featured August 22, 2010
Psychiatric Evaluation
By: deeznutz Aug 19 2010 at 07:09am
As prerequisite for his job with a very conservative corporation, a young man was sent for a psychiatric evaluation. Picking up a stack of cards, the doctor showed the patient a pair of parallel lines. “When you look at this, what do you see?”
“Two people making love,” he answered.
The doctor held up a picture showing a rectangle. “What does this remind you of?”
“A penis.”
“And this?’ the doctor asked as he held up a triangle.
“A pussy.”
The psychiatrist laid down the cards. "I’m afraid I can’t recommend you for the job, young man. All you think about is sex.”
“Me?” the man yelled. “Who’s the guy with the collection of dirty pictures?”
“Two people making love,” he answered.
The doctor held up a picture showing a rectangle. “What does this remind you of?”
“A penis.”
“And this?’ the doctor asked as he held up a triangle.
“A pussy.”
The psychiatrist laid down the cards. "I’m afraid I can’t recommend you for the job, young man. All you think about is sex.”
“Me?” the man yelled. “Who’s the guy with the collection of dirty pictures?”
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Featured August 21, 2010
Silent Fart
By: drkatz Aug 18 2010 at 02:25pm
An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband. "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
He replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
He replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
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Featured August 20, 2010
Late Arrival
By: drkatz Aug 18 2010 at 02:24pm
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
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Featured August 19, 2010
Great Pickup Line
By: yermom Aug 17 2010 at 05:02pm
Man: Do you work for the U.P.S. Company?
Woman: No, why?
Man: Cause I thought I saw you checking out my package.
Woman: No, why?
Man: Cause I thought I saw you checking out my package.
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